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Literature
A Visit From John McClane
A Visit From John McClane
‘Twas the fight before Christmas
When all through the ‘scraper
Hans Gruber and company
Were plotting a caper;
The Nakatomi employees
Partied without any cares,
So when Han’s gang invaded
They were caught unawares.
John McClane had just flown
From New York to LA
To see his wife, Holly
Though he did not mean to stay.
With Holly at her party,
And John without shoes,
Hans took them all hostage;
Broke alarm, phone and fuse.
His gang meant to steal
A few bonds, a few stocks
So they cut off the building,
And turned on all the locks.
John was a policeman,
The only one to escape.
Before the evening was out
He’d have a fair share of scrapes.
Hans snatched Holly’s boss:
A Japanese guy named Joe.
The gang wanted a key code,
But the poor dude didn’t know.
This original failure
Didn't cease Han's assault,
He called 'pon his hacker
To break open the vault.
A gang member found John
And with no place left to run,
John fought him, then bragge
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I'm David Pumpkins! by DrKaleidoscope I'm David Pumpkins! :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 0 2 Nebulos: Collector of Worlds by DrKaleidoscope Nebulos: Collector of Worlds :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 0 0 Alien Race 2: The Osmotic Professors by DrKaleidoscope Alien Race 2: The Osmotic Professors :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 3 0 Alien Race 1: The Corpulent Gourmands by DrKaleidoscope Alien Race 1: The Corpulent Gourmands :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 2 0 Ya-Na-Ri Adult by DrKaleidoscope Ya-Na-Ri Adult :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 1 0 Night Metamorphosis by DrKaleidoscope Night Metamorphosis :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 0 0
Literature
The City of the Gods
The City of the Gods
by Gabriel W Burch
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to enter the City of the Gods. Much of my childhood was spent gazing up at the distant mountain peak where it was said to lie. At night I would often dream of that sacred sanctuary as it must have been in the ancient times, when the gods still walked the Earth. Titanic cathedrals of metal and stone, easily dwarfing any structure built by modern peoples, in every direction you would care to look, and shining with the intensity of stars. Beautiful verdant gardens kept for pleasure, with a thousand aromas emanating from a thousand plants, and a thousand sounds emanating from a thousand beasts, both possessing every conceivable shape, size, or color. All these things were dreamed of, but the greatest wonder of the City was the Gods themselves, giant in proportion and resembling nothing that exists in the world today.
In my dreams I could see the Gods perfectly, but alas, every morning when I awoke I had s
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Mature content
A Conversation Between Nietzsche and God :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 0 0
Literature
Familes of The Veiled Races
Families of the Veiled Races (And Those That Hunt Them)
Draculas- Vampires
Orlok-Nosferatus
Caligari-Mad Scientists
Frankensteins-Humunculi
Sundays-Igors (clones of Quasimodo)
Saturdays-Ghede (Zombie Masters)
Fantomas- French Villans (Descendants of the original Phantom of the Opera)
O'Lanterns-Dullahan(Headless Horsepeople)
Renfields- Vampire slaves
Harkers-Vampire Hunters
Van Helsings-Vampire/Monster Experts
Samsas-A family cursed to turn into giant cockroaches
Imhoteps-Osirans (Mummies)
Gilmans-Deep Ones (Descendants of the original Atlanteans)
Greenteeths-Nickers/Nixies
Gruffs-Se'irem(Fauns, Nymphs, and Satyrs)
Bluebeards-French serial killers
Orlacs- A family cursed with evilly inclined hands
Merovingians-Necromancers (Descendants of Christ)
Ruthvens-Vampyres
Squarefoots-Werepigs
Illuminati-Wizard-Scientists dedicated to the protection of the Human Race
Griffins-Invisible People
Hydes-A British street gang of fantastic drug users
Rougarous-Loup Garous (True Werewolves)
O'Malices-P
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Literature
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
We are men
men at arms
we fight evil
with our charms
damn the danger
damn the harms
We are men
proud and true
we know what's
right to do
we are men
we'll pull through
Any endeavor
that we make
we know just what
it will take
we can see
through all that's fake
we are men
we fight for good
doing what all people should
over the mountain
across the wood
we can't be stopped
by any wall
to evil we
will never fall
we are men
we stand tall
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Literature
The 5 Most Dangerous Fairies
In 21st Century America, fairies are associated with miniature winged people that grant wishes and frolic in the flowers. This image of fairies began in the Victorian era and was popularized by Peter Pan and it's many, many adaptations.However, going back just a couple of centuries reveals a wealth of folklore in which fairies are the exact opposite of cute, an invisible, superpowered race of humanoids with zero empathy and a completely inhuman mind set.Yeah, that's pretty fucking terrifying, but that's just your garden variety fairy, the bad ones, and I mean the REALLY bad ones give Hollywood vampires and werewolves a run for their money in the "shit yourself in terror" department, monsters like...
5)The Changeling
In Classical English mythology, the fairy folk are an endangered species for some reason. You'd think that a race that can never be found and collectively has more power than the Justice League would be doing pretty okay for themselves, but this is Mythology, don't expect i
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Literature
The Things I Have
I have the eyes of an artist
the soul of a poet
the mind of an architect
the hands of an idiot
and the heart of a child
I keep it in a jar on my desk
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Literature
A View That's Askew
I have a view that's askew
A view that's brand new
what else can I do
but start telling you
what's false and
what's true
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Mature content
A Prologue to Plasmalord Omega :icondrkaleidoscope:DrKaleidoscope 0 0
Literature
Super Short Horror Story
Just so you know, there's a clown living under your bed
but every time you look down there he goes into another dimension
He is Shrodinger's clown
he is both there and not there
but one thing is for certain
he is hungry
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Activity


A Visit From John McClane

‘Twas the fight before Christmas
When all through the ‘scraper
Hans Gruber and company
Were plotting a caper;

The Nakatomi employees
Partied without any cares,
So when Han’s gang invaded
They were caught unawares.

John McClane had just flown
From New York to LA
To see his wife, Holly
Though he did not mean to stay.

With Holly at her party,
And John without shoes,
Hans took them all hostage;
Broke alarm, phone and fuse.

His gang meant to steal
A few bonds, a few stocks
So they cut off the building,
And turned on all the locks.

John was a policeman,
The only one to escape.
Before the evening was out
He’d have a fair share of scrapes.

Hans snatched Holly’s boss:
A Japanese guy named Joe.
The gang wanted a key code,
But the poor dude didn’t know.

This original failure
Didn't cease Han's assault,
He called 'pon his hacker
To break open the vault.

A gang member found John
And with no place left to run,
John fought him, then bragged
"Now I've got a machine gun."

More gang members came after,
All of which John would maim
With some quips and good cheer,
And I'll list them by name:  

He beat Tony! Beat Uli!
Beat James and Franco!
Beat Alexander! Beat Fritz!
Beat Heinrich and Marco!

He exclaimed down to Hans,
who proved quite the begrudger,
"Yippie-ki-ay, yippie-ki-ay
Yippie-ki-ay...motherfudger!"

With a purloined walkie-talkie
He made a call from the rooftops,
The operator was skeptical,
But she still called the cops.

The first to the building
Was a Sergeant named Al.
John sent him a present labeled:
"Welcome to the party, pal!"

Al spoke up for John
To the Deputy, Dwayne.
But the feds were no help,
Really more of a pain.

The feds sent out a tank,
As a part of their raid,
The rest of the gang saw this,
So they launched a grenade.

With no aid he could count on,
This Manhattan cop
Had to crawl through the vents
In a soiled tank-top.

He'd acquired some toys,
Like C4 detonators,
And he sent Hans a package
Right down the elevators.  

Holly's coworker, Ellis,
Hopped up on...candy-canes
Tried to barter with Hans,
Told him all 'bout the McClanes.

Hans sought John pretending
To be a hostage named "Clay"
But his horrible accent
really gave him away.

Hans called to his gang,
Who were armed to the teeth
And they blew out some windows,
While McClane crouched beneath.

Still barefoot, John walked
All across broken glass,
He wouldn't let that keep him
From kicking some... donkeys.

Hans had made some demands,
Sent hostages to the roof,
Which was filled with explosives!
Only John knew the truth.

He saves all the prisoners,
Right before the roof blows.
But he must bungee down
Using just a fire hose!

The vault was now open,
The hacker had done his work
And now millions of dollars
Were in the hands of some jerks.

Han's getaway was wrecked
By Argyle, John's driver,
But he'd abducted Holly,
Being quite the conniver.  

John rescued his wife,
Hans fell 30 floors,
All the prisoners fled
Through the wide, open doors.

With the McClanes reunited,
And the rest set to right,
Happy Die Hard to all,
And to all a good fight!
A Visit From John McClane
The text from "Twas the Night Before Christmas" rewritten to be about "Die Hard." People often joke that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie, even though it has very little to do with the holiday. Regardless, I thought it would be fun to retell the events of the movie in a way that was (mostly) appropriate for children. Because it's never really too early to teach kids about awesome action movies! At least I think so. Happy holidays to everyone, regardless of what they might celebrate (We all need a celebration--we survived the horrors of 2017 intact).  
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Discussion Question:

Is the hokey-pokey really "what it's all about"?

Please answer in paragraph form.
  • Listening to: Aimee Mann
  • Reading: Miracleman
  • Watching: The Whispers
  • Playing: Dice with God
  • Eating: fried chicken
  • Drinking: lemonade

Journal History

deviantID

DrKaleidoscope
G.W. Burch
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
United States
When I was just a newborn, my parents were murdered by Moe Pierre, the mime assassin. I was raised by dire wolves until I was discovered by the superhero Captain Obvious, who brought me into human society and trained me to defeat my parent's murderer. Eventually I managed to hunt Moe Pierre down and bring him at last to justice, but Moe Pierre's mandrill minion, DJ, swore to make the rest of my life a never ending hell. He is my archenemy to this day. Oh, and also I like doing art and shit.

Probably should have mentioned that first
Interests

Friends

Comments


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:iconpepeckt:
pepeckt Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2017
Thanks for the :+fav:
:handshake:
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:iconphillip-the-2:
Phillip-the-2 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: on

Mature Content

Timmy's Mom by Phillip-the-2
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:iconkajm:
Kajm Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch!
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:iconnikoskap:
nikoskap Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014
Hello friend!Can you change the submitting settings on your group,cause people are not allowed to submit?
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:icondrkaleidoscope:
DrKaleidoscope Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I will try!
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:iconnic011:
nic011 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:happybounce: :happybounce: thank you for the fav  :DHaruka Smiling Icon 
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:iconchaosqueen122:
chaosqueen122 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the fave :)
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:icongemogirl98:
gemogirl98 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav!!!
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:iconmro16:
Mro16 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2014  Professional
Thank you for the watch.
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:iconrufinator:
Rufinator Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014
Thank you for the :+devwatch:!:la:
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